Law 5: So Much Depends on Reputation. Guard it with Your Life.

I haven't written in forever, but a recent conversation caused me to look toward my favorite behavioral guide once again.

Law 5 :: So Much Depends on Reputation. Guard it With Your Life :: Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

My mom always emphasized the importance of being a lady. She cringes when she reads my blog more often than not. What can I say? I keep my legs closed, my fingers tapping, and my mouth yapping. My words are my friskiness. My twitter, however, could be my demise.

Recently I read an excerpt from David Blasberg's new book Classy. He describes that one of the best things about class is that no matter how much you slip, you can always regain your footing. Blasberg uses Drew Barrymore and Angelina Jolie as examples. These women were crazy, but when they were ready to shape up, the world accepted their current drive and beauty as their reputations. I like Nicole Richie. Sometimes you have to wild out to shape up. I believe your former title only pales in weight beside what you currently do.

My supervisor asked me what I ultimately wanted to be known for professionally. I'm still uncertain, really. I want to be this amazing television host who was known for being real, relatable, and relevant. The question is, do you see that in me now? Do you think you could take me seriously as I report on gun crises in urban areas? Would you only tune in to hear me chat with sex experts? The question with reputation remains, are you building the picture you want people to remember?

If not, there's always time.

The beauty of life is that as long as you have it, you can always live it. You can always build with time, and you can steadily shape and protect your reputation. Even if you don't see me right now as the host I believe I will be, you'll turn eventually.

Things I'm Loving Right Now: Young Liberian Entrepreneurship

I know I'm doing my thing, and there are a few others that I wanted to share with you. Pass the word, there is indeed hope for Liberia as long as these people exhibit such energizing fire.

James K Holder II -- You knew I had to shout him out.

My dear friend is making waves in Atlanta after having raised $10,000 for Haitian relief. With a new studio on the way and large nods from Georgia Tech and the Atlanta NBC affiliate station, who else could you possibly want to take your picture? When you support your friends, sometimes you CAN get good service. Check out the DIME Squad below and judge for yourself.

DIME Squaaddddd. We up thru there!

Now book a shoot.

Arch Bernard Jr. -- Yep we come from the same parents.

My baby brother and his love affair with metal music landed him a position at a label within Warner Music Group where he can socially network for musicians who scream over music. When we were in college my goal was getting to the money. He always told our mom that he was into doing work that he loved. Staying true to his dreams and beliefs still allow him the opportunity to be fulfilled. The money will come and the job will reward in many more ways also.
My bro in his element. Leave it to him to make friends on the streets of NY.

Keril Sawyerr -- The cousin I'll eventually need to invest in my television network.

Keril and his associate's web business is called New Billionaires, and with the release of his new e-book Why a Year Passes and No Meaningful Progress is Made you can get a feel for his belief on positive thinking and hard work leading us into living wealthy and abundant lives. I visited the book's website and it made me question myself. "What did you accomplish last year?" it asked, and all day I kept trying to make a complete list. After reading the book, which I need a volunteer to buy for me, I know I will be able to answer this at 2010's year end.




Charlene Bendu Dunbar -- Putting African textiles in your neighborhood boutiques.

I really don't know Charlene, but I want one of EVERYTHING she's made. I've seen her stuff in shops I frequent and numerous fashion shows, and it's been refreshing to know that people want to wear a piece of Liberia. She's used her skills to bring something beautiful out of the rubble. How can you not love that?


A few of my favorite blogs by a few of my favorite Liberian girls:

Jewel Anastassia Tolbert -- Her thoughts on life, strength, and femininity make me smile. You can tell her words are completely her personality, and I always get a refreshing word to brighten my day.

Vanette Tolbert -- I'm not a model but if I were, I'd have all the startup advice I needed right here. Plus her webcasts are funny to me. Go enjoy "The V Spot."

Mattie James -- What girl doesn't love fashion? But if you don't have the time to browse the world for the hottest looks, just go to Mattie's page frequently. No really, frequently. She updates several times a day. Say 'yes' to shoes.

So much good stuff going on in the community, I couldn't resist a little shoutout! Love you all!

Trying to Paint the Perfect Self Portrait

I wanna be a billionaire so freakin bad.

No. Really. And I would really like that song had it not been for the story my brother told me about Travis McCoy dissing him at Warped Tour one year. My brother handed Travis a CD of the band he was promoting at that time, and when Travis walked away he chucked it somewhere.

Well that was unnecessary.

I want to make it in this media industry, but I feel like famous people aren't supposed to reveal so much of themselves. I share so much through this thingy-bopper blog of mine, because I want you all to know and love me. I want you to pray for my success when you pray for your loved ones at night. Even if you hate me, I expect you'll still watch me because of the irresistible way I host a video or make a news story come to life. My mom is hesitant to share my url with her colleagues, and I held my breath the other day when my TA said he clicked this link from an email I sent about needing tutoring. While Criminal Minds paints one reason why cyber-living is dangerous, I need to know if my personality is going to get me into more trouble than jobs.

Am I supposed to be this personal? Maybe you shouldn't know how I feel about sex or where I am with religion. Maybe I should just play my position.

I'd just rather keep it real.

I look at all these people who are seated where I'm trying to sit, and I imagine how perfect their lives must be. They have the one thing I want. They're successful. They're being paid to do work I would probably pay someone to allow me to do.

But is the grass really greener that way? Take David Letterman for example. Sure, a certainly very successful late night host. And then it comes out that he'd been sleeping with subordinates. Who saw that coming? Haven't men learned the affairs are never the way to go? Maybe that's a subject for another post.

Is it better to paint the perfect picture of yourself the way you want it to look? For whatever reason, I think I provide an untouched digital photo: you get what's in the frame.

Travis McCoy may have hit singles and the opportunity to throw demo's on the ground, but who is he really? If I can't still be the cool Shelby/ Archel/ Vanity... I don't want the fame.

Well I want it. But maybe not so much.

Ok better example: Fantasia. We put her down for being uneducated. And a homewrecker. And super country. And then she attempts suicide. Like really, this industry should never have me so caught up in my head that I feel the only way out is through the bottom of a pill bottle. And then we still put her down. Twitter went wild with jokes about this. Hello. She almost died. All of this because of who she was.

Can I have my career the way I want it and still tell you all my secrets? Is this a "play now, pay later" issue I'm going to have to face? I'm scared, sincerely. I want you to see me as that girl you knew and could relate to, that just happened to work hard and move on up in the world. Is that so much to ask? No rehabs, no secret affairs, no hidden children. Just me, you, and the billions of dollars we're going to make. Can my appreciation for sincerity come along for the ride too? It doesn't bite. Hard. Let me know if I need to lock this all down.

My Eyes Are Watching God

nirvana |nərˈvänə; nir-|
noun
: Buddhism a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma and samsara. It represents the final goal of Buddhism.
: Hinduism liberation of the soul from the effects of karma and from bodily existence.
: a state of perfect happiness; an ideal or idyllic place : Hollywood's dearest dream of small-town nirvana.

ORIGIN from Sanskrit nirvāṇa, from nirvā ‘be extinguished,’ from nis ‘out’ + vā- ‘to blow.’\


Nirvana to me: I'm looking for it, and my search has led me to my 10-day fast and prayer. I really don't see many sacrificial acts of devotion being practiced in my religion, but here I am, alarm set at 5:15 for my meal before sun-up.

Modeled after Ramadan, I am hoping to engage in intense spiritual rejuvenation as well as emerge with an open spirit about the places faith will lead me.

I have so much to pray for, and I think God chose this time for me to reflect and wait as He confirms a path for my life.


Wish me luck and prosperous reflection!

I love the way He loves me, and I love that who I am doesn't have to be who I will be forever.

Matthew 6: 16-18 on Fasting:

¹⁶"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. ¹⁷But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, ¹⁸so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.