Exit Stage College

I was going through some faded pictures and I think the easiest way someone can gauge my changes is from the ways I've celebrated Halloween through college. As I'm graduating, and also looking for a new costume to wear this year, I thought I'd give my own little yearbook of pics. Enjoy throwback me, and encourage wholesome costumes for your daughters because they can't compete with this.
Really there's a point to all this, keep reading.

Freshman year: I was a schoolgirl. I didn't even know girls did Halloween in college until I saw them prancing about in their costumes on campus. They had these sexy costumes, meanwhile I wore stuff I put together from my closet. That Halloween was the first night I had alcohol that wasn't my mom's champagne toast for New Year's. I went to this frat where a boy I went to high school with was a pledge. Brian Tyson had to carry me out of the house because I had two jello shots and felt "weird."

Times have changed.

Sophomore year: I was an AASU snob and went to this super hot house party we had. No costume, I was social chair of the organization and was just feeling like I could come any kind of way. It was, after all, my party (lazy).

Junior year: I still thought girls made their sexy costumes, so I made an apron that said "Chef BoyarDO-ME" and wore this shaper under it. Brian drove me to this predominantly Spanish party which was kind of dull.

Brian was always a one man UN. Here I am with Soulja Girl, a boxer, and Tom Cruise from Risky Business.


My First Senior Year: I had been having car troubles all day but there was no way I was missing this Halloween. I had this amazing fake ID and had been clubbing hard all summer and fall. I had to get a Brazilian wax for this sailor costume because it was so little. We hit Velvet Room and it wasn't long before we were in someone's booth drinking Goose and Rose. I spent the night with this guy I had been talking to at that time, and I realized in his bathroom that I can't mix Goose and Rose ever, ever again.

The ATLPics show how into the club life I was. Wild.




My Second Senior Year: Don't judge me for the two and a half senior years, I was still finding myself. By this point however, the career college student thing was getting old and I had calmed down. I made my costume because I didn't want anyone else to have what I wore. I was decked out in pretty much all spandex, rhinestones on my face, and had a handy dandy whip. I called myself "your fantasy." My girls were kind of annoyed with the continual stings of my costume whip. How you think Toby felt? Of course, the only way to get me out the door at this point is with promises of VIP. We were at Life with a good friend, and that was all the partying I needed for the rest of the year.



My Last Semester: I don't know what to be! But you can visualize my transformation in college from being young, to searching for the party, to finding the party, to now leaving the party.

That's pretty much the way my time has evolved at Georgia Tech. I've learned from relationships with men, from friendships, from organizations, and faculty. I've changed my major and I've opened my mind to going after the career path I truly desire. I've opened my mouth to stand up for myself, to be who I want, and definitely to get what I want. In many ways I've shed my costumes and become confident enough to exit this stage of life, even if just to give everyone else hell as I attempt to run this media thing.

Really, how can you measure change? My hair has gotten a little longer, bank account a little bigger, focus a little more precise, shoe collection a little more stacked.

My grandparents have gotten a little sicker, my family a lot bigger, my friendships a lot closer, my weight a little up, but I've always been this bright-eyed girl looking for my piece of sweet potato pie in the sky. Am I closer to it or still a dreamer? Is anyone watching? Listening? Understanding?

If this is the end of my journalistic freshman year (as I'm coming close to the one year anniversary of sjbthewords.com) I wonder where I will be five years from now? Do you see how green I was as a freshman? The large growth I've experienced in five years gives me so much hope and excitement for what's to come. As I exit stage college, I know the Lord will let 'stage career' be just as much a blessing as the past years have been. You know I'm scared, but the beauty of faith is that I'm allowed to live in delight as He holds my problems in His capable hands.

I share those thoughts with you in hopes that you keep me in your prayers.

It's my time to be Pinky and the Brain and take over the world.

Ready for me??

And as far as this Halloween goes, ideas anyone?

The Laws of Vanity

Vanity is my alter ego. She does what she wants, feels what she wants, and she's wise. Most important, she is her own top priority. I've read a lot of books with tidbits that people can learn from to advance their ways of thinking. In a perfect world, people would understand Vanity's thoughts as the most peaceful ways of the feminine mind. Enjoy, my never complete list of the Laws of Vanity (L.O.V.E. --the E doesn't stand for anything but it's my list to title how I feel). This isn't a list of the best stuff I've said in the blog. They're just random summaries I reach when I get to the heart of the matter. Who knows, this could be the blueprint for my book somewhere down the line. Or they could just be tweets I never want to forget. Either way, indulge me and let me know which are your favorite. By me, for you.

• A real man knows a woman is a top investment and reflection of his principles, morals and goals. And being a real man and a grown man are two different things. Real men understand what im saying, grown men might not.

• Loyalty is Chief. It's the only currency we accept.

• Some men are just bullshitters. They can't help it. Been that way too long to change.

• Clothes are so much better on the floor.

• Love isn't what hurts, its that other shit that comes with it when people don't fully believe in its power.

• Never throw away a black dress. I guarantee you'll find another way to wear it.

• When you live LOVE you don't have to find it.

• When loyalty runs through your veins, expect to be disappointed. It's not a common chromosome.

• Leave EVERYONE missing you. An overstayed welcome is your own blues.

• There's no shame in drinking water in a wine glass. It's the effortlessly chic life that separates you from the fake.

• Shamelessly let the most expensive meal a man eats be pussy.

• People say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I think the best way is just to get inside yourself.

• When you shake someone you never thought you would, you truly see how magnificent thoughts are. They can hold you captive AND set you free.

meet the original vixens who bear the same name. eh, when the lead decided she wanted to do gospel music, the name became up for me to grab. they were the first lingerie dancers. =)

Kiss My Clean Mouth

Like Rick Ross says, "she talk dirty, but her mouth clean." Honestly I'm not really sure what that means. And if it means what I think it means, then I don't understand the appeal...

I've been working on being a better, classier me. Step one is simply eliminating the curse words from my vocabulary.

I've started with the word fuck.

Welp, I just said it. Man it felt good.

But really, I use curse words when I'm not able to articulate anything any other way. Think about how often I say something is "fucked up." Well, why is it that way? Is it a disaster? Is it a loss? Is it really so awful? It doesn't matter, because the word is so powerful that it takes away a bit of my intelligence and class.

But some stuff is really fucked up.

Can I use synonyms for "fucked up?" Can it be "sexed up?" Like, "that grade I got in class was really sexed up."

Yeah see, I like my vice a lot more.

I go braless in public. I walk outside barefoot. I wear leggings as if they're real pants. I leave my dishes in the sink. I act like I don't see homeless people on the streets so they won't ask me for money. I'm bipolar when I'm under the influence. I'm kind of a crazy young thing. And I'm choosing to start correcting myself right here, by censoring my language use, when all I want to do is freely express my thoughts.

That's sexed up.

What's feminine about a woman that talks like a beer drinking man with a pot belly? You think a host will get hired if she slips up and calls Julia Roberts her main "bitch" in Pretty Woman? How awkward is it to have Sunday dinner with my mom and she keeps hitting me while I'm mid-casual conversation? These are all reasons I've got to clean up my mouth.

By now you know that I like to kind of read a lot of books. I just open what I need, when I need it. Today, I've got Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and I wanted to share a piece with you.

"Begin with the end in mind" is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There's a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things.

Take the construction of a home for example. You create it in every detail before you ever hammer the first nail into place. You try to get a very clear sense of what kind of house you want... You work with your mind until you get a clear image of what you want to build. Then you reduce it to blueprint and develop construction plans. All of this is done before the earth is even touched.

If we do not develop our own self-awareness and become responsible for first creations, we empower circumstances outside our Circle of Influence to shape much of our lives by default.

Here's the thing: I have a goal to become a relatable, real, and relevant television host. I want to be respected. I have to create my blueprint for success now, so others cannot pick my weaknesses apart later. I have a reputation to build and an air of class to maintain and progress. I can't let a little "fuck" eat away at my sweet potato pie in the sky.

So now I don't talk dirty, and my mouth is clean. Sorry Rozay.

P.S. There's good shit in this book. Good stuff. There's good stuff in the Stephen Covey novel. Yes. Good stuff.

I wanted to leave you with a clean mouth of mine for you to kiss, but then I realize I have a million different pics of me with this pucker pose. So I didn't even use one at the beginning. Too overwhelming to choose. I'm sure at the time I took the kiss photos, they weren't as corny as they all are here in collection. Would you believe me if I told you I have about twenty more kiss face pics? And that's not even including the ones with my sisters. What can I say? I'm a kisser! Pick one and kiss it.

The Price of Loyalty

TI and Tiny were arrested today. Details here, but in summary, the cops smelled the kush, then found the pills, and the rest met me on CNN this morning.

Her blonde weave looks STUPIDfly here I may add.

The whole situation makes me throw their year into review, and question how much thick and thin a lady should experience. Let's reflect.

• In the winter, there was his jail time. Black folks were screaming "Free TI," but he served less than a year for something that should have guaranteed him Meech-time behind bars.
• In the spring and summer, we stayed tuned to the Tiny and Toya show, no matter how boring it all got. And when TI became a free man, he bought Tiny out of her BET contract to essentially end our viewing pleasure.
  
• At the end of the summer, the couple's big wedding day came and went with like zero pics. The cutest thing that came out of it was her cameo in his newest music video.

TI and Tiny always seemed so devoted to each other. Many people feel TI could find someone more attractive. I can't speak on that. As they both go to jail, you gotta see the loyalty involved with being together. I see her as a true rider for him. Sure, Tiny's spending the money that comes along with TI's $110K appearance fees. She's also raising their kids, and constantly defending her relationship with him. It also has to kill her that she's not living her dream by singing anymore. And then there's the little fact that TI can't seem to stay out of legal trouble. This time he did it with his wife in the passenger side. Truly, where's she gonna be when she posts bond? Checking on her boo, right by his side, because given his past legal history he probably isn't getting out with a simple slap on the wrist.

How many women do you know who would be that loyal to a man? Some women have no problem kissing ass for checks, but I think Tiny's loyalty runs deeper than sponsorship. If it were just about the money, do you think she would still be there? She's still spending a lot of nights in bed alone, even though the heating bill is paid.

Can a truly loyal relationship be bought?

Was Elin disloyal to Tiger by leaving him when his reputation hit rock bottom? Did his lack of loyalty toward her give her the freedom to leave his side? Was Tiger truly disloyal when he cheated as long as he was bringing those checks back to his family? I don't believe Elin didn't know about any affairs before the golf club incident. Do you think her attachment to the sweet life bought loyalty 'til the shit hit the fans? What about Kobe, and Vanessa's beautiful, post- Colorado diamond? How's that for purchased loyalty?

How much does a woman get to put up with before she opts out of being the loyal wife/ girlfriend/ friend?

Or how much does a ride or die chick run for these days?

I have so many questions and very few answers.

So I turn to rap music. I ask the Lox to guide me.



Jokes aside, loyalty is dominated by motives. What you choose to be loyal to is what's going to drive you and your relationships. If the money is the motive, then your relationships will be fake. You will pay for a life that depreciates everyday. But if you're looking for something durable, something faithful and secure, you are what you attract. An ardent love never fails to deliver. That's why some relationships last and others don't. No one's scared Tiny's going to leave Tip. That's the beauty of loyal relationships. They work through the inevitable kinks of life.

Good luck to TI. I just played "Don't You Wanna Be High" on accident and got a little sentimental.

STUPIDfly:: Cokebags

I think girls are getting lazy.

We see pretty girls on the street all the time, but for whatever reason we feel like we can just be this way without effort. Chances are, you're not that fancy. And the Drake definition of fancy is the minimum a woman should be doing just to be excited with herself. I mean I hope you get your hair and nails done. You could just do them yourself though. Either way, it's just called maintenance.

I miss the frills of being a girl. Give me a pouffe skirt. Bedazzle everything. More clevage, more leg, more booty. pink Pink PINK! Either way women, step your cookies up! Here's a little something I think is STUPIDfly to get you excited about the extra involved with being a girl.

These are Bev Gloves. Really, really unnecessary, but look how cute and girly.
Bring the sexy back to what you do ladies. Please remember that Eve's femininity is what got us all here today. Since then our hips have ruined empires and ended wars. Our entire potential is limitless. Beauty and brains, watch the queen conquer.