Kiss My Clean Mouth

Like Rick Ross says, "she talk dirty, but her mouth clean." Honestly I'm not really sure what that means. And if it means what I think it means, then I don't understand the appeal...

I've been working on being a better, classier me. Step one is simply eliminating the curse words from my vocabulary.

I've started with the word fuck.

Welp, I just said it. Man it felt good.

But really, I use curse words when I'm not able to articulate anything any other way. Think about how often I say something is "fucked up." Well, why is it that way? Is it a disaster? Is it a loss? Is it really so awful? It doesn't matter, because the word is so powerful that it takes away a bit of my intelligence and class.

But some stuff is really fucked up.

Can I use synonyms for "fucked up?" Can it be "sexed up?" Like, "that grade I got in class was really sexed up."

Yeah see, I like my vice a lot more.

I go braless in public. I walk outside barefoot. I wear leggings as if they're real pants. I leave my dishes in the sink. I act like I don't see homeless people on the streets so they won't ask me for money. I'm bipolar when I'm under the influence. I'm kind of a crazy young thing. And I'm choosing to start correcting myself right here, by censoring my language use, when all I want to do is freely express my thoughts.

That's sexed up.

What's feminine about a woman that talks like a beer drinking man with a pot belly? You think a host will get hired if she slips up and calls Julia Roberts her main "bitch" in Pretty Woman? How awkward is it to have Sunday dinner with my mom and she keeps hitting me while I'm mid-casual conversation? These are all reasons I've got to clean up my mouth.

By now you know that I like to kind of read a lot of books. I just open what I need, when I need it. Today, I've got Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and I wanted to share a piece with you.

"Begin with the end in mind" is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There's a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things.

Take the construction of a home for example. You create it in every detail before you ever hammer the first nail into place. You try to get a very clear sense of what kind of house you want... You work with your mind until you get a clear image of what you want to build. Then you reduce it to blueprint and develop construction plans. All of this is done before the earth is even touched.

If we do not develop our own self-awareness and become responsible for first creations, we empower circumstances outside our Circle of Influence to shape much of our lives by default.

Here's the thing: I have a goal to become a relatable, real, and relevant television host. I want to be respected. I have to create my blueprint for success now, so others cannot pick my weaknesses apart later. I have a reputation to build and an air of class to maintain and progress. I can't let a little "fuck" eat away at my sweet potato pie in the sky.

So now I don't talk dirty, and my mouth is clean. Sorry Rozay.

P.S. There's good shit in this book. Good stuff. There's good stuff in the Stephen Covey novel. Yes. Good stuff.

I wanted to leave you with a clean mouth of mine for you to kiss, but then I realize I have a million different pics of me with this pucker pose. So I didn't even use one at the beginning. Too overwhelming to choose. I'm sure at the time I took the kiss photos, they weren't as corny as they all are here in collection. Would you believe me if I told you I have about twenty more kiss face pics? And that's not even including the ones with my sisters. What can I say? I'm a kisser! Pick one and kiss it.

Law 5: So Much Depends on Reputation. Guard it with Your Life.

I haven't written in forever, but a recent conversation caused me to look toward my favorite behavioral guide once again.

Law 5 :: So Much Depends on Reputation. Guard it With Your Life :: Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

My mom always emphasized the importance of being a lady. She cringes when she reads my blog more often than not. What can I say? I keep my legs closed, my fingers tapping, and my mouth yapping. My words are my friskiness. My twitter, however, could be my demise.

Recently I read an excerpt from David Blasberg's new book Classy. He describes that one of the best things about class is that no matter how much you slip, you can always regain your footing. Blasberg uses Drew Barrymore and Angelina Jolie as examples. These women were crazy, but when they were ready to shape up, the world accepted their current drive and beauty as their reputations. I like Nicole Richie. Sometimes you have to wild out to shape up. I believe your former title only pales in weight beside what you currently do.

My supervisor asked me what I ultimately wanted to be known for professionally. I'm still uncertain, really. I want to be this amazing television host who was known for being real, relatable, and relevant. The question is, do you see that in me now? Do you think you could take me seriously as I report on gun crises in urban areas? Would you only tune in to hear me chat with sex experts? The question with reputation remains, are you building the picture you want people to remember?

If not, there's always time.

The beauty of life is that as long as you have it, you can always live it. You can always build with time, and you can steadily shape and protect your reputation. Even if you don't see me right now as the host I believe I will be, you'll turn eventually.

Things I'm Loving Right Now: Young Liberian Entrepreneurship

I know I'm doing my thing, and there are a few others that I wanted to share with you. Pass the word, there is indeed hope for Liberia as long as these people exhibit such energizing fire.

James K Holder II -- You knew I had to shout him out.

My dear friend is making waves in Atlanta after having raised $10,000 for Haitian relief. With a new studio on the way and large nods from Georgia Tech and the Atlanta NBC affiliate station, who else could you possibly want to take your picture? When you support your friends, sometimes you CAN get good service. Check out the DIME Squad below and judge for yourself.

DIME Squaaddddd. We up thru there!

Now book a shoot.

Arch Bernard Jr. -- Yep we come from the same parents.

My baby brother and his love affair with metal music landed him a position at a label within Warner Music Group where he can socially network for musicians who scream over music. When we were in college my goal was getting to the money. He always told our mom that he was into doing work that he loved. Staying true to his dreams and beliefs still allow him the opportunity to be fulfilled. The money will come and the job will reward in many more ways also.
My bro in his element. Leave it to him to make friends on the streets of NY.

Keril Sawyerr -- The cousin I'll eventually need to invest in my television network.

Keril and his associate's web business is called New Billionaires, and with the release of his new e-book Why a Year Passes and No Meaningful Progress is Made you can get a feel for his belief on positive thinking and hard work leading us into living wealthy and abundant lives. I visited the book's website and it made me question myself. "What did you accomplish last year?" it asked, and all day I kept trying to make a complete list. After reading the book, which I need a volunteer to buy for me, I know I will be able to answer this at 2010's year end.




Charlene Bendu Dunbar -- Putting African textiles in your neighborhood boutiques.

I really don't know Charlene, but I want one of EVERYTHING she's made. I've seen her stuff in shops I frequent and numerous fashion shows, and it's been refreshing to know that people want to wear a piece of Liberia. She's used her skills to bring something beautiful out of the rubble. How can you not love that?


A few of my favorite blogs by a few of my favorite Liberian girls:

Jewel Anastassia Tolbert -- Her thoughts on life, strength, and femininity make me smile. You can tell her words are completely her personality, and I always get a refreshing word to brighten my day.

Vanette Tolbert -- I'm not a model but if I were, I'd have all the startup advice I needed right here. Plus her webcasts are funny to me. Go enjoy "The V Spot."

Mattie James -- What girl doesn't love fashion? But if you don't have the time to browse the world for the hottest looks, just go to Mattie's page frequently. No really, frequently. She updates several times a day. Say 'yes' to shoes.

So much good stuff going on in the community, I couldn't resist a little shoutout! Love you all!

I Breathe Power

As many of you know, I am currently an intern at WSB TV, the ABC affiliate station in Atlanta. Can I just say this has been the most personally stressful internship I have ever taken. I've never felt more incapable. Yeah, I've had my share of crazy jobs. On a scale of 1 to 10, PINK Magazine ranks 150 on some stuff I'll never put myself through professionally ever again, but I finally found the one job I am so eternally passionate about, and here is my opportunity to make my bold entrance into the field. The problem is I am so anxious to make a good impression, I'm scared to make a bad one, which results in my not making any impression at all.

I am one month into the starting position of a lifetime, and I refuse to squander my opportunities, so I've turned to other people's experiences for a little inspiration.

Meet Robert Greene. I've been reading The Art of Seduction for maybe three years now (it's what I need when I need it), and I recently downloaded The 48 Laws of Power, so it's safe to say I'm a fan of his work. I am also, however, skeptical of anyone who claims to have life all figured out, and frankly if you follow his words, you'll beast this little world we live in. So I had to find out who he is, and because I'm just not that connected in the media industry, I found all I needed on his blog. Drink this nourishing excerpt below:

"When I was fresh out of college and starting my writing career at a magazine in New York, I will never forget a particularly lovely spring afternoon in which the editor of the magazine invited me for lunch to discuss my latest article. I thought it was a good piece I had written and was expecting some praise. Instead, he proceeded to dissect the article, explain why it was so bad, why I would never be a writer, and what other careers I should think about.

This of course shocked me. But instead of thinking of myself, I couldn't help study the man who was saying this. He was downing one gin and tonic after another, in the middle of the afternoon. The following image came to me, one I remember to this day as vividly as ever: this man was like a house that looked okay from the outside, but on the inside, all of the beams and supports were rotting and termite infested...from alcohol, from his own sad life. I also had the feeling that maybe some twenty years earlier another editor had given him the same ugly talk, and it worked, and so instead of being a writer, he turned into a dried-up editor, full of regrets. His way was not to help others avoid the same mistake, but to do the opposite.

I went home and thought about this, a lot. Yes, my writing could sometimes be a little chaotic and all over the place, but I was young, finding my voice. Deep down inside of myself I had faith. I was different and weird, and I would express it in words or go down in flames. But why was this man deliberately trying to sabotage me? Why not be constructive and helpful? It soon dawned on me that this was not an objective opinion on his part, but some twisted need to put down other young writers. Working with mediocre writers made him feel better about himself. With such writers, he could do a lot of editing, which was obviously his big joy in life. Analyzing it in this way, I felt I had absorbed my first body blow in the work world and had survived.

Over the years, I collected many more body blows from idiotic editors, manipulative bosses who took credit for my work, sadistic managers who wanted to show their power, saboteurs of all kinds (what can I say, I worked in Hollywood for several years.) But for some reason this first one has always stood out, because it taught me something I will never forget: there are ugly people in the world.

They manipulate, play political games, etc. Their first concern is not doing a good job but protecting their egos, assuaging their insecurities. It is not my role in life to figure out what their problem is, or what made them this way, or how I can help them. I am not a social worker. I will not get sucked into their dynamic, or allow my emotions to be entangled in their games. It is nothing personal. Their problems go way back, to mommy and daddy, no doubt. I will get out of their way, or I will find ways to protect myself, or even return their blows if necessary. It can be rough out there, and I am not going to whine about it or complain, I am going to succeed and have the last laugh in this life."

So this is obviously the worst case scenario in my mind. I think I would die if someone told me I should find a different career. This is what I want to do. And because it's in front of the camera, I'm leaving myself open for all sorts of scrutiny and judgment. No one has ever put me down at WSB, but if they do what will my response be? Will I run away and re-evaluate my entire life? Not anymore. And three New York Times bestselling novels later, I can see what quitting can prevent. I can see what self confidence can accomplish. I can feel what power promotes. All of my fear comes from within, and Robert Greene isn't more divinely favored than I am. I can reach my dreams too. Cue the Goapele.

Hell yes I need a lot of work to be where I want to be. Bring it on. Or better yet, I'm going to go find it. I am going to succeed and have the last laugh in this life.

Whew.