Trying to Paint the Perfect Self Portrait

I wanna be a billionaire so freakin bad.

No. Really. And I would really like that song had it not been for the story my brother told me about Travis McCoy dissing him at Warped Tour one year. My brother handed Travis a CD of the band he was promoting at that time, and when Travis walked away he chucked it somewhere.

Well that was unnecessary.

I want to make it in this media industry, but I feel like famous people aren't supposed to reveal so much of themselves. I share so much through this thingy-bopper blog of mine, because I want you all to know and love me. I want you to pray for my success when you pray for your loved ones at night. Even if you hate me, I expect you'll still watch me because of the irresistible way I host a video or make a news story come to life. My mom is hesitant to share my url with her colleagues, and I held my breath the other day when my TA said he clicked this link from an email I sent about needing tutoring. While Criminal Minds paints one reason why cyber-living is dangerous, I need to know if my personality is going to get me into more trouble than jobs.

Am I supposed to be this personal? Maybe you shouldn't know how I feel about sex or where I am with religion. Maybe I should just play my position.

I'd just rather keep it real.

I look at all these people who are seated where I'm trying to sit, and I imagine how perfect their lives must be. They have the one thing I want. They're successful. They're being paid to do work I would probably pay someone to allow me to do.

But is the grass really greener that way? Take David Letterman for example. Sure, a certainly very successful late night host. And then it comes out that he'd been sleeping with subordinates. Who saw that coming? Haven't men learned the affairs are never the way to go? Maybe that's a subject for another post.

Is it better to paint the perfect picture of yourself the way you want it to look? For whatever reason, I think I provide an untouched digital photo: you get what's in the frame.

Travis McCoy may have hit singles and the opportunity to throw demo's on the ground, but who is he really? If I can't still be the cool Shelby/ Archel/ Vanity... I don't want the fame.

Well I want it. But maybe not so much.

Ok better example: Fantasia. We put her down for being uneducated. And a homewrecker. And super country. And then she attempts suicide. Like really, this industry should never have me so caught up in my head that I feel the only way out is through the bottom of a pill bottle. And then we still put her down. Twitter went wild with jokes about this. Hello. She almost died. All of this because of who she was.

Can I have my career the way I want it and still tell you all my secrets? Is this a "play now, pay later" issue I'm going to have to face? I'm scared, sincerely. I want you to see me as that girl you knew and could relate to, that just happened to work hard and move on up in the world. Is that so much to ask? No rehabs, no secret affairs, no hidden children. Just me, you, and the billions of dollars we're going to make. Can my appreciation for sincerity come along for the ride too? It doesn't bite. Hard. Let me know if I need to lock this all down.

Just for Kicks: How to Stay Out of Trouble on Twitter

I know what all my best friends are up to, and it’s not because Big Brother is watching. There’s something to be said about this minute by minute explosion of thoughts that is TWITTER. The whole setup was made to create a little drama in people’s lives. People follow you, but you don’t have to follow them back. People can be included in dialogue with a simple @reply. And others can be spoken of with a #subliminaltweet. Communication is consistent, but the exact degree is up to each individual’s discretion.

The jig is up, I have a twitter account I was hoping to keep secret from employers and until this very post, I had done a pretty good job of that. My real handle is @kissthagun and my honesty and big mouth have earned me my fair share of drama. There’s a boy that I liked, and once he started following “Vanity (my down low twitter name)” he stopped calling. I met my last boyfriend on twitter and we broke up by unfollowing each other. More recently, I hurt a nice guy’s feelings by expressing my feelings about his drawn out phone conversations. Call me a twitter bully. I think this social network has really impacted my life.

Whoa.
A bit much? Might be. So here’s a list of harmless tweets to keep things more boring and less incriminating.

• Inspirational tweets. This includes any retweets of Rev Run, Ralph Marston, and God when you feel moved to; people love a good scripture. Helps keep them from having to read the Bible themselves.

• Day and time statuses. Like “Good morning! Happy Friday!”

• Ego stroking tweets. “I’m putting in work. What are you doing?!”or "I grind so hard..."
  

• Quotes by random famous people. And rap lyrics only true hip hop heads understand.

• Twitpics of food you’re eating or clothes and shoes you’re buying.

• Zodiac facts about your sign and how freaky and intelligent you (insert sign here) are.

• Shameless publicity about parties you’re throwing or albums you’re buying.

• Tweet celebs. They won’t tweet back, but still try.

• Acknowledge who you’re with. Then they’ll retweet and all of a sudden you’re famous. The more the merrier.

• Stay away from trending topics! This is #subliminaltweet alley!

This should keep you busy for the most part. Busy and out of trouble. As for me, I’ll just keep getting in trouble for my open book twitter page. Check me out though, I promise I’ll be fun.

Morning Sex: The Formula to Starting the Day off Nicely

“Morning sex is probably the greatest sex you can have all day long,” started a super excited, anonymous caller/ follower of mine in response to my refreshing twitter question. The topic for the day added a little spice to the morning in more ways than one. I wanted to get to the bottom of morning sex, the excitement and the pitfalls, and if you weren’t in the middle of the act during my poll, you were sounding off on my page, through text message, or through direct contact.

Who wouldn’t want to start their day off with a little bit of breakfast lovin’? It seemed more females than our counterparts were excited to take a morning turn, but as with anything we all have our preferences.

The Clean Mouth Campaign:

“Someone HAS to brush!” – Angelique (@LoveAngel84)

“It might be appreciated if at least one person did...preferably the person that did the waking up. But if not just don't kiss lol.” – Crystal (@SeeSiSea)

Let’s just jump straight into the dirt of the matter. Do you brush or don’t you? Part of the excitement of morning sex is the spontaneity of the act. When you roll over and your man is experiencing nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT is a real case, look it up!), and you just can’t waste the good morning greeting on the other side of the bed. Do you fight it for just three minutes and handle the harsh situation in your mouth?

“It kinda takes away from the ‘as I am’ appeal of morning sex and just becomes sex in the morning though, doesn't it?” –Justin (@Phlocaine)

“Brushing would be appreciated but then you’re not just rolling over and doing it.” – Naz (@MissTubman)

So let’s try and be solution oriented with this matter. Keep gum or mints by the bed, just for access to a quick fix if you’re going to partake in morning glory. It would be nice if someone, at least one of you, slipped out of the bed to at least gargle mouthwash. Then again, this is sex. No one said anything about kissing… If you’re both too lazy or too excited to handle your breath, then I hope the height proportions keep your faces far away from each other. Try a position that doesn’t put you face to face, and maybe breathe less? I've heard spooning from the back works wonderfully.

The Fun Factor:

“Morning sex is my fave, not gonna lie. No preparation, it shows that we're comfortable.” –Sharonda (@Wames)

“If morning sex is too good I'll wanna go back to sleep, of course I take the risk though.” – Anonymous

So we have all decided it is a fun activity and great way to spice up the daily routine. After a while, sex can become more of the same, and who knew that the time of day could mix up the way you feel about the action. Morning sex can turn a good day into a great one… or an unproductive one. To make the most of this experience, please try to stay focused on what you have to do afterward. Maybe use it as a prelude to greater things to come after work. You can even try a little time limit. We’re all busy, so giving in to a little temptation is easy and enjoyable enough, but when morning sex is hindering real world success, you may need to reevaluate ‘rising’ with the sun.

“Shower together. Conserve water you know? Also get brunch afterwards. Or make breakfast together. Super comfortable. Love it!” – Neela (@Neeeela)

“Best feeling after a bad dream. Stay in bed for an extra 2 hours. F*** going to work/class.” – Wynton (@F1ash_Gordon)

There are great ways to make this a creative and intimate morning date if you have the time. For most, it’s just a quick fix. But keeping your mind open to the possibilities can only add to your relationship. Morning sex is usually a surprise, so how many more brownie points can you get with some surprise scrambled eggs on the side?

The word most frequently used by women in their responses was “comfortable.” In the morning, a woman may not feel she’s at her sexiest state. If they’re like me, their hair is in a bonnet, all the makeup is gone, and what I couldn’t remove is smeared (too much of a visual??). Bottom line is if I’m going to do something sexy, I’d like to look the part as well. But there’s no more comfortable place in the world than in bed with my boo in the morning. Wouldn’t you agree? That feeling alone sets the scene anyone should need to get going. Kisses and compliments are appreciated, but the companionship and our chemistry at this time should be effortless and mindblowing. Are you getting the correlation?

….ummm I’d Rather Get My Sleep:

“I don’t care what it’s for, no one needs to wake me up so they can get their anything else up!” – Anonymous

So what if you’re “that type” that just doesn’t want it first thing? I always think “where there’s a will there’s a way!” However, this might take more effort on the partner. If there’s a specific time when the morning-sex-monster has to be awake, start the games then. Alarm clocks aren’t necessary to wake people up, and which would you prefer, a little lovin’ or a harsh buzzin’? It might add pep in your partner’s step. Try setting the mood, and don’t rush anything. Soft music or a scented candle may wake a sleeping beauty on the proper side of the bed. Hormones build up overnight during sleep, so use this to your advantage. Of course a lot of my wonderful peers said oral sex is the surefire way to get into the action, and as I’m certain this is true, my mom is a big fan of my blog and I’d rather not go there as I’m sure I’ve already said much more than she would like to hear. I’ll just close with my favorite phrase: you can never have too much of a good thing.

Really cool article on morning sex: http://www.yourtango.com/200931215/ladies-friendly-suggetion-men-am-delight

A few updates:

Sorry I haven’t been posting as much, it is the end of the semester and a girl is almost at graduation!

I did accept the offer from WSB (the ABC News affiliate in Atlanta) and I will be there 20 hours a week in the spring… now if only Monica Pearson would retire and pass the baton…

Is it just me or does a Thanksgiving diet leave anyone else with a muffintop over their jeans? Is that too much visual again? Sorry :/

As always, follow me to participate in my random polls: @The_SJB