Friday, July 23, 2010

Just for Kicks: How to Stay Out of Trouble on Twitter

I know what all my best friends are up to, and it’s not because Big Brother is watching. There’s something to be said about this minute by minute explosion of thoughts that is TWITTER. The whole setup was made to create a little drama in people’s lives. People follow you, but you don’t have to follow them back. People can be included in dialogue with a simple @reply. And others can be spoken of with a #subliminaltweet. Communication is consistent, but the exact degree is up to each individual’s discretion.

The jig is up, I have a twitter account I was hoping to keep secret from employers and until this very post, I had done a pretty good job of that. My real handle is @kissthagun and my honesty and big mouth have earned me my fair share of drama. There’s a boy that I liked, and once he started following “Vanity (my down low twitter name)” he stopped calling. I met my last boyfriend on twitter and we broke up by unfollowing each other. More recently, I hurt a nice guy’s feelings by expressing my feelings about his drawn out phone conversations. Call me a twitter bully. I think this social network has really impacted my life.

A bit much? Might be. So here’s a list of harmless tweets to keep things more boring and less incriminating.

  • Inspirational tweets. This includes any retweets of Rev Run, Ralph Marston, and God when you feel moved to; people love a good scripture. Helps keep them from having to read the Bible themselves.
  • Day and time statuses. Like “Good morning! Happy Friday!”
  • Ego stroking tweets. “I’m putting in work. What are you doing?!”or "I grind so hard..."
  • Quotes by random famous people. And rap lyrics only true hip hop heads understand.
  • Twitpics of food you’re eating or clothes and shoes you’re buying.
  • Zodiac facts about your sign and how freaky and intelligent you (insert sign here) are.
  • Shameless publicity about parties you’re throwing or albums you’re buying.
  • Tweet celebs. They won’t tweet back, but still try.
  • Acknowledge who you’re with. Then they’ll retweet and all of a sudden you’re famous. The more the merrier.
  • Stay away from trending topics! This is #subliminaltweet alley!

This should keep you busy for the most part. Busy and out of trouble. As for me, I’ll just keep getting in trouble for my open book twitter page. Check me out though, I promise I’ll be fun.


  1. So true!! All of it! I have 2 twitter accounts and try to stay out of trouble.... for the most part, with BOTH of them. But sometimes, a little *drama* keeps the blood pumping.

  2. A little! That's why I won't stop!

  3. omg! i hate trending topics! thanks for adding this to your list!