Kiss My Clean Mouth

Like Rick Ross says, "she talk dirty, but her mouth clean." Honestly I'm not really sure what that means. And if it means what I think it means, then I don't understand the appeal...

I've been working on being a better, classier me. Step one is simply eliminating the curse words from my vocabulary.

I've started with the word fuck.

Welp, I just said it. Man it felt good.

But really, I use curse words when I'm not able to articulate anything any other way. Think about how often I say something is "fucked up." Well, why is it that way? Is it a disaster? Is it a loss? Is it really so awful? It doesn't matter, because the word is so powerful that it takes away a bit of my intelligence and class.

But some stuff is really fucked up.

Can I use synonyms for "fucked up?" Can it be "sexed up?" Like, "that grade I got in class was really sexed up."

Yeah see, I like my vice a lot more.

I go braless in public. I walk outside barefoot. I wear leggings as if they're real pants. I leave my dishes in the sink. I act like I don't see homeless people on the streets so they won't ask me for money. I'm bipolar when I'm under the influence. I'm kind of a crazy young thing. And I'm choosing to start correcting myself right here, by censoring my language use, when all I want to do is freely express my thoughts.

That's sexed up.

What's feminine about a woman that talks like a beer drinking man with a pot belly? You think a host will get hired if she slips up and calls Julia Roberts her main "bitch" in Pretty Woman? How awkward is it to have Sunday dinner with my mom and she keeps hitting me while I'm mid-casual conversation? These are all reasons I've got to clean up my mouth.

By now you know that I like to kind of read a lot of books. I just open what I need, when I need it. Today, I've got Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and I wanted to share a piece with you.

"Begin with the end in mind" is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There's a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things.

Take the construction of a home for example. You create it in every detail before you ever hammer the first nail into place. You try to get a very clear sense of what kind of house you want... You work with your mind until you get a clear image of what you want to build. Then you reduce it to blueprint and develop construction plans. All of this is done before the earth is even touched.

If we do not develop our own self-awareness and become responsible for first creations, we empower circumstances outside our Circle of Influence to shape much of our lives by default.

Here's the thing: I have a goal to become a relatable, real, and relevant television host. I want to be respected. I have to create my blueprint for success now, so others cannot pick my weaknesses apart later. I have a reputation to build and an air of class to maintain and progress. I can't let a little "fuck" eat away at my sweet potato pie in the sky.

So now I don't talk dirty, and my mouth is clean. Sorry Rozay.

P.S. There's good shit in this book. Good stuff. There's good stuff in the Stephen Covey novel. Yes. Good stuff.

I wanted to leave you with a clean mouth of mine for you to kiss, but then I realize I have a million different pics of me with this pucker pose. So I didn't even use one at the beginning. Too overwhelming to choose. I'm sure at the time I took the kiss photos, they weren't as corny as they all are here in collection. Would you believe me if I told you I have about twenty more kiss face pics? And that's not even including the ones with my sisters. What can I say? I'm a kisser! Pick one and kiss it.

The Price of Loyalty

TI and Tiny were arrested today. Details here, but in summary, the cops smelled the kush, then found the pills, and the rest met me on CNN this morning.

Her blonde weave looks STUPIDfly here I may add.

The whole situation makes me throw their year into review, and question how much thick and thin a lady should experience. Let's reflect.

• In the winter, there was his jail time. Black folks were screaming "Free TI," but he served less than a year for something that should have guaranteed him Meech-time behind bars.
• In the spring and summer, we stayed tuned to the Tiny and Toya show, no matter how boring it all got. And when TI became a free man, he bought Tiny out of her BET contract to essentially end our viewing pleasure.
  
• At the end of the summer, the couple's big wedding day came and went with like zero pics. The cutest thing that came out of it was her cameo in his newest music video.

TI and Tiny always seemed so devoted to each other. Many people feel TI could find someone more attractive. I can't speak on that. As they both go to jail, you gotta see the loyalty involved with being together. I see her as a true rider for him. Sure, Tiny's spending the money that comes along with TI's $110K appearance fees. She's also raising their kids, and constantly defending her relationship with him. It also has to kill her that she's not living her dream by singing anymore. And then there's the little fact that TI can't seem to stay out of legal trouble. This time he did it with his wife in the passenger side. Truly, where's she gonna be when she posts bond? Checking on her boo, right by his side, because given his past legal history he probably isn't getting out with a simple slap on the wrist.

How many women do you know who would be that loyal to a man? Some women have no problem kissing ass for checks, but I think Tiny's loyalty runs deeper than sponsorship. If it were just about the money, do you think she would still be there? She's still spending a lot of nights in bed alone, even though the heating bill is paid.

Can a truly loyal relationship be bought?

Was Elin disloyal to Tiger by leaving him when his reputation hit rock bottom? Did his lack of loyalty toward her give her the freedom to leave his side? Was Tiger truly disloyal when he cheated as long as he was bringing those checks back to his family? I don't believe Elin didn't know about any affairs before the golf club incident. Do you think her attachment to the sweet life bought loyalty 'til the shit hit the fans? What about Kobe, and Vanessa's beautiful, post- Colorado diamond? How's that for purchased loyalty?

How much does a woman get to put up with before she opts out of being the loyal wife/ girlfriend/ friend?

Or how much does a ride or die chick run for these days?

I have so many questions and very few answers.

So I turn to rap music. I ask the Lox to guide me.



Jokes aside, loyalty is dominated by motives. What you choose to be loyal to is what's going to drive you and your relationships. If the money is the motive, then your relationships will be fake. You will pay for a life that depreciates everyday. But if you're looking for something durable, something faithful and secure, you are what you attract. An ardent love never fails to deliver. That's why some relationships last and others don't. No one's scared Tiny's going to leave Tip. That's the beauty of loyal relationships. They work through the inevitable kinks of life.

Good luck to TI. I just played "Don't You Wanna Be High" on accident and got a little sentimental.

STUPIDfly:: Cokebags

I think girls are getting lazy.

We see pretty girls on the street all the time, but for whatever reason we feel like we can just be this way without effort. Chances are, you're not that fancy. And the Drake definition of fancy is the minimum a woman should be doing just to be excited with herself. I mean I hope you get your hair and nails done. You could just do them yourself though. Either way, it's just called maintenance.

I miss the frills of being a girl. Give me a pouffe skirt. Bedazzle everything. More clevage, more leg, more booty. pink Pink PINK! Either way women, step your cookies up! Here's a little something I think is STUPIDfly to get you excited about the extra involved with being a girl.

These are Bev Gloves. Really, really unnecessary, but look how cute and girly.
Bring the sexy back to what you do ladies. Please remember that Eve's femininity is what got us all here today. Since then our hips have ruined empires and ended wars. Our entire potential is limitless. Beauty and brains, watch the queen conquer.

Law 5: So Much Depends on Reputation. Guard it with Your Life.

I haven't written in forever, but a recent conversation caused me to look toward my favorite behavioral guide once again.

Law 5 :: So Much Depends on Reputation. Guard it With Your Life :: Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

My mom always emphasized the importance of being a lady. She cringes when she reads my blog more often than not. What can I say? I keep my legs closed, my fingers tapping, and my mouth yapping. My words are my friskiness. My twitter, however, could be my demise.

Recently I read an excerpt from David Blasberg's new book Classy. He describes that one of the best things about class is that no matter how much you slip, you can always regain your footing. Blasberg uses Drew Barrymore and Angelina Jolie as examples. These women were crazy, but when they were ready to shape up, the world accepted their current drive and beauty as their reputations. I like Nicole Richie. Sometimes you have to wild out to shape up. I believe your former title only pales in weight beside what you currently do.

My supervisor asked me what I ultimately wanted to be known for professionally. I'm still uncertain, really. I want to be this amazing television host who was known for being real, relatable, and relevant. The question is, do you see that in me now? Do you think you could take me seriously as I report on gun crises in urban areas? Would you only tune in to hear me chat with sex experts? The question with reputation remains, are you building the picture you want people to remember?

If not, there's always time.

The beauty of life is that as long as you have it, you can always live it. You can always build with time, and you can steadily shape and protect your reputation. Even if you don't see me right now as the host I believe I will be, you'll turn eventually.

Things I'm Loving Right Now: Young Liberian Entrepreneurship

I know I'm doing my thing, and there are a few others that I wanted to share with you. Pass the word, there is indeed hope for Liberia as long as these people exhibit such energizing fire.

James K Holder II -- You knew I had to shout him out.

My dear friend is making waves in Atlanta after having raised $10,000 for Haitian relief. With a new studio on the way and large nods from Georgia Tech and the Atlanta NBC affiliate station, who else could you possibly want to take your picture? When you support your friends, sometimes you CAN get good service. Check out the DIME Squad below and judge for yourself.

DIME Squaaddddd. We up thru there!

Now book a shoot.

Arch Bernard Jr. -- Yep we come from the same parents.

My baby brother and his love affair with metal music landed him a position at a label within Warner Music Group where he can socially network for musicians who scream over music. When we were in college my goal was getting to the money. He always told our mom that he was into doing work that he loved. Staying true to his dreams and beliefs still allow him the opportunity to be fulfilled. The money will come and the job will reward in many more ways also.
My bro in his element. Leave it to him to make friends on the streets of NY.

Keril Sawyerr -- The cousin I'll eventually need to invest in my television network.

Keril and his associate's web business is called New Billionaires, and with the release of his new e-book Why a Year Passes and No Meaningful Progress is Made you can get a feel for his belief on positive thinking and hard work leading us into living wealthy and abundant lives. I visited the book's website and it made me question myself. "What did you accomplish last year?" it asked, and all day I kept trying to make a complete list. After reading the book, which I need a volunteer to buy for me, I know I will be able to answer this at 2010's year end.




Charlene Bendu Dunbar -- Putting African textiles in your neighborhood boutiques.

I really don't know Charlene, but I want one of EVERYTHING she's made. I've seen her stuff in shops I frequent and numerous fashion shows, and it's been refreshing to know that people want to wear a piece of Liberia. She's used her skills to bring something beautiful out of the rubble. How can you not love that?


A few of my favorite blogs by a few of my favorite Liberian girls:

Jewel Anastassia Tolbert -- Her thoughts on life, strength, and femininity make me smile. You can tell her words are completely her personality, and I always get a refreshing word to brighten my day.

Vanette Tolbert -- I'm not a model but if I were, I'd have all the startup advice I needed right here. Plus her webcasts are funny to me. Go enjoy "The V Spot."

Mattie James -- What girl doesn't love fashion? But if you don't have the time to browse the world for the hottest looks, just go to Mattie's page frequently. No really, frequently. She updates several times a day. Say 'yes' to shoes.

So much good stuff going on in the community, I couldn't resist a little shoutout! Love you all!

Trying to Paint the Perfect Self Portrait

I wanna be a billionaire so freakin bad.

No. Really. And I would really like that song had it not been for the story my brother told me about Travis McCoy dissing him at Warped Tour one year. My brother handed Travis a CD of the band he was promoting at that time, and when Travis walked away he chucked it somewhere.

Well that was unnecessary.

I want to make it in this media industry, but I feel like famous people aren't supposed to reveal so much of themselves. I share so much through this thingy-bopper blog of mine, because I want you all to know and love me. I want you to pray for my success when you pray for your loved ones at night. Even if you hate me, I expect you'll still watch me because of the irresistible way I host a video or make a news story come to life. My mom is hesitant to share my url with her colleagues, and I held my breath the other day when my TA said he clicked this link from an email I sent about needing tutoring. While Criminal Minds paints one reason why cyber-living is dangerous, I need to know if my personality is going to get me into more trouble than jobs.

Am I supposed to be this personal? Maybe you shouldn't know how I feel about sex or where I am with religion. Maybe I should just play my position.

I'd just rather keep it real.

I look at all these people who are seated where I'm trying to sit, and I imagine how perfect their lives must be. They have the one thing I want. They're successful. They're being paid to do work I would probably pay someone to allow me to do.

But is the grass really greener that way? Take David Letterman for example. Sure, a certainly very successful late night host. And then it comes out that he'd been sleeping with subordinates. Who saw that coming? Haven't men learned the affairs are never the way to go? Maybe that's a subject for another post.

Is it better to paint the perfect picture of yourself the way you want it to look? For whatever reason, I think I provide an untouched digital photo: you get what's in the frame.

Travis McCoy may have hit singles and the opportunity to throw demo's on the ground, but who is he really? If I can't still be the cool Shelby/ Archel/ Vanity... I don't want the fame.

Well I want it. But maybe not so much.

Ok better example: Fantasia. We put her down for being uneducated. And a homewrecker. And super country. And then she attempts suicide. Like really, this industry should never have me so caught up in my head that I feel the only way out is through the bottom of a pill bottle. And then we still put her down. Twitter went wild with jokes about this. Hello. She almost died. All of this because of who she was.

Can I have my career the way I want it and still tell you all my secrets? Is this a "play now, pay later" issue I'm going to have to face? I'm scared, sincerely. I want you to see me as that girl you knew and could relate to, that just happened to work hard and move on up in the world. Is that so much to ask? No rehabs, no secret affairs, no hidden children. Just me, you, and the billions of dollars we're going to make. Can my appreciation for sincerity come along for the ride too? It doesn't bite. Hard. Let me know if I need to lock this all down.

My Eyes Are Watching God

nirvana |nərˈvänə; nir-|
noun
: Buddhism a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma and samsara. It represents the final goal of Buddhism.
: Hinduism liberation of the soul from the effects of karma and from bodily existence.
: a state of perfect happiness; an ideal or idyllic place : Hollywood's dearest dream of small-town nirvana.

ORIGIN from Sanskrit nirvāṇa, from nirvā ‘be extinguished,’ from nis ‘out’ + vā- ‘to blow.’\


Nirvana to me: I'm looking for it, and my search has led me to my 10-day fast and prayer. I really don't see many sacrificial acts of devotion being practiced in my religion, but here I am, alarm set at 5:15 for my meal before sun-up.

Modeled after Ramadan, I am hoping to engage in intense spiritual rejuvenation as well as emerge with an open spirit about the places faith will lead me.

I have so much to pray for, and I think God chose this time for me to reflect and wait as He confirms a path for my life.


Wish me luck and prosperous reflection!

I love the way He loves me, and I love that who I am doesn't have to be who I will be forever.

Matthew 6: 16-18 on Fasting:

¹⁶"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. ¹⁷But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, ¹⁸so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.