Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Love and Luck in Work

File this away in my passion corner. I think they call this venting.

I always take an extra 30 mins to get out of bed. I just need my sleep. As I wake, I'm planning my nap and meals for the day. Rarely do I ask myself 'what are you going to do to make this day count?'

Sure, I work damn hard to ensure that Plan A comes to fruition. I put in my hours at Rolling Out, and then put in my midnight hours at a second job to make the bills disappear. There is no Plan B. My dreams have to take off so I can live the fabulous life like Kimora Lee, and have the cultural influence of Oprah Winfrey, and have the quotable phrases like Coco Chanel, the totable babies like Angelina Jolie, and the arm candy boyfriends like Kim Kardashian.

But I'm only seeing the bread. I've got to learn to really mill the wheat in the fields before I can live the life of peace and prosperity meant for Archel Bernard.

You really don't get the life I want to live by falling in love with men. You fall in love with the vision and chase that bitch til it chases you.

I've learned the chase is overlooked. The effort that goes into the chase is sometimes mundane, and we've got to toil over those mountains. But the thing about the mountains is they don't disappear; the way I climb them shifts.

I was out on the purple carpet for the Soul Train Awards doing interviews, and I was out there in the cold in a little red dress. Chrisette Michelle comes up to me and rubs my arm to note my goosebumps. Yep, I was freezing out there. I talked to 40 or so celebrities and wannabe celebrities about superficial red carpet things in order to get my assignment done. Every now and again, however, my mind would wander to what life will be like when publicists beg me to book their artists on my show in my warm set. It's challenging to want. My dreams feel like teasers. I want to be there already, wherever there is.

Here's an image of me after the awards (clearly a cell phone pic). I tried to crop the boobs out, as my mom reads my blog periodically and hates to always be bombarded with titty, but I could only do so much. Shout out to Ulta for a $45, hour and a half wash and curl.

And then I realize this is all a warm up. That God doesn't place me anywhere to suffer. Only to thrive. I'm up next at bat, and up to bat again and again until His will is found and the universe is pleased.

I recently went to New York to visit my little brother as he tries to conquer the music world. Sidenote: the Bernard last name means 'dynasty' in many languages. As he showed me his apartment in Brooklyn's Crown Heights, I could feel the hunger for more than a fire escape that only seats one, as much as I could feel the pleasure with his grind. These days we're experiencing right now are good days. We're making great steps every hour. The steps are small, and most go unnoticed, but they stand as building blocks to help us acquire the payoff that's meant for us at the end when the fire escape becomes a patio overlooking the Mediterranean.

I don't envy anyone's happiness. I don't know what it took for them to reach their state. I know that I'm climbing away for mine. What AM I doing to make each day count? How can I be more quotable, or more fabulous? How can I draw this plush lifestyle? Such complex questions with such easy answers. I love this work. I love that I'm setting myself up to hit a homerun. I love that all the mountains are unclaimed gifts waiting for me and only me. When you work hard, you'll find out that you're really lucky. I'll simply be the luckiest talent I can be.

Are you happy now, baby? I am.
And the best is yet to come.


A little Miley for your day... PUSH PLAY! Every word captures the mood I'm in.


5 comments:

  1. "Plan B is to make sure that plan A happens!" -Archel

    ReplyDelete
  2. hehe but which one is the question...lol we all use the same computer :p

    ReplyDelete
  3. One of my favorite posts of yours, lady!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you dear for reading lil ole me!!

    ReplyDelete