Thursday, November 12, 2009

First Date Etiquette

Hello Lovers--

Today is the 1 week anniversary of my blog and I want to thank you for almost 1000 hits. Your support amazes me and I'm so excited that you all want to read my words. In lieu of the amazing first date I went on yesterday, I thought I would publish a good handful of do's and don'ts as given by my twitter family. Guys, I know I keep it pretty feminine focused on this site, but the ladies were honest about you! Read and enjoy, and of course make sure you're falling in line!

Ladies DON'T get ahead of the date. Yes it is too early to pronounce your first name with his last. It's completely normal to get excited about meeting someone new, but if your expectations for your outing aren't met, who's left high and dry? Give him the opportunity to earn your affection. This way if he doesn't you haven't lost much, and if he does it will be that much sweeter.

Horror Story: "Someone brought his kid on the date! I'm not trying to be stepmama yet!" - Submitted by Ashley (@Peaches_AW)
Lesson Learned: DON'T reveal everything on the first date if you want a second. Dating is the process in which we gradually learn if we're compatible with each other. Although there is something to be said about laying all your cards on the table, we're saying "run!" not "success!" Honesty is important in dating, however understanding the difference between "full disclosure" and "honesty" is key to this.

Horror Story: "He didn't pick up the tab when he asked me out!!" - Submitted by Valerie (@VDubbalicious)
Lesson Learned: DO exercise common courtesy. Everyone has their own feelings about what is an appropriate way to exit the first date. Since this is MY blog, I'm going to say the guy was wrong for that. If you want to put that good foot forward, show me that you can be the gentleman, at least for the first date. If you're on a budget, that's okay. Just take me somewhere you can foot the bill. I know, I know, the best excuse for everything these days is "it's a recession," but sometimes the best dates are the most creative. So I'm certain you can afford me, even if I'm spending more time in thought than anything else.

The flip side to this is DO be prepared for anything thrown at you. Ladies, this is not the time to order things you wouldn't pay for yourself. Since you don't know what to expect from this guy, be prepared for anything. Make sure you come prepared to cover your share of the damage, so if he's not as wonderful as you expected, you've saved yourself from a truly awkward situation.

DON'T name drop excessively, brag about yourself, or your material things.
Really what does that have to do with ME anyway? And this date is supposed to be about you and I right? So let's converse about things we can really use to learn about each other.

Things on the super no-no conversation list:
  • Wedding/ Honeymoon Thoughts
  • Credit Score
  • Old Relationship Specifics
  • Anything that may move someone to tears
  • Hypotheticals that include old relationship specifics
  • Sex
I want you to have a second date. Steer clear of these topics and you may have just that.

DO talk about things you are passionate about. DON'T hide yourself. Dating kind of sucks, but you have to do it. You may as well be honest about yourself from the start. You either find someone you're compatible with, or you don't. When you're honest, there can be no regrets.

Look at conversation from a girls' perspective: "I knew I would go on a second date with him when he really tried to get know me by asking non-standard questions and was comfortable leading the conversation." - Submitted by Adaora (@AdaoraO)

And from a guy's perspective: "If I didn't ask her out again it probably had something to do with convo or just the vibe of the night. If I'm carrying the convo the whole night no bueno!" - Submitted by Shaun (@rg33zy)

DO remember you are on a date to get to know one another, and conversation is the most important factor. When I asked my twitter family for responses to these questions, girls just wanted to laugh and feel comfortable. Guys just wanted responses and to feel comfortable (who'd have thought??). Let's stay away from anything that might hinder this process. Watch the cocktail intake!!

At the end of the day, the first date isn't a contract, it's more of an audition, and I'm sure you'll go through many more of these before you hit your last first date. Get comfortable, be yourself, and think of these last super hilarious stories as you try not to slip up.

"It's nice when guys open doors, but if a girl reaches a door 1st, don't shove her outta the way 2 open it 4 her ... that cancels out the gentlemanly gesture lol." - Submitted by Neela (@Neeeela)

"It's a no go if I checked her facebook page and saw that she dated some of my friends, LOL." - Submitted by Khalid (@ThaGuy22) Editor's Note: Why are you facebook stalking?

"I don't like if she talk 2 dayum much N name drops!! Bitch I givs a fuk who u n da studio wit or who u hang wit n da club." - Submitted by Avery (@Ave34) Editor's Note: Well alright....

"...and then his ex girlfriend called me with her friend on three way like they were trynna jump me! thru the phone!" - Submitted by Rita (@noneknowsmyname)

"But a deal breaker was this guy kept touching me and rubbing me....and trynna stunt me in the club for a booth that me n my girls paid for." - Submitted by Rita (@noneknowsmyname) Editor's Note: Gee Rita, you've had your fair share!

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Also, today is our money man's birthday! Have a good one Omari!! @TheMoneyMaven (See Let's Make Money in our timeline)

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